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以前我们老师讲个人行为和社会规则的关系时，举了一个案例：
酗完酒在外面砸路灯等公共财物，这个不用说，国家肯定得列为违法行为。
如果你个人只是在家里酗酒砸自己家东西，除非上升为家暴，要不然酗酒本身法律这种社会规则是不会管你的。
但是，如果整个国家有四分之一的人，当然也可以是五分之一或者其他比例，但总之是不少人，在家酗酒砸自家财物，这就成了社会问题了，国家肯定会通过法律法规来规范。
啃老这事比较类似，1999 年媒体统计中国有 15.6 万啃老族，那时候的啃老，主要是指大学毕业之后不愿意去工作，闲在家里吃父母的喝父母的——注意，1999 年全国普通高校毕业生 84.76 万。
当年对于啃老族，媒体和社会的口径高度一致——指责、批判，让他们抬不起头。
可后来呢？越来越多的年轻人买房靠掏空“六个钱包”。
2018 年的调查显示，90%的年轻人表示在买房的的时候父母给垫付了一部分首付，有的是父母是全款给买的，在这其中有 80%的人非常感谢自己的父母，知道父母的辛苦；但是 10%的人认为父母有钱，就应该给自己买房子。
因为靠父母的人多了，社会舆论也就变了，几乎所有人都异口同声地说“现在这房价，年轻人不靠父母哪里买得起”“父母的钱自己放着肯定会贬值，凑给我买房，则可以升值”——大家自己屁股沟里有屎，也就不好再指责别人了。
因为一个买房，媒体对啃老闭嘴了，社会大众对啃老的态度，不仅仅是宽容，甚至成了鼓励——靠父母买了房虽然依然是啃老的一种，甚至比那些闲在家里吃喝的人啃得更狠，但因为房价上升了，原先受到指责的事情，现在变成一件让人自豪的事情。
身边偶尔有宁愿错过房价浪潮，也不愿意用父母的钱付首付的，大家都毫不避讳地说他是傻子，会活成笑话。
以上说的是媒体和社会对啃老这件事态度前后矛盾的一面。
再从国家的角度来看，当年批判在家啃老不去工作的人，是因为这些人闲在家里，让年轻的社会劳动力减少了，对社会是有害的，所以不管通过舆论还是法律把他们赶到社会上都是好事。
而最近几年呢，房地产发展需要资金支撑，社会流动资金不够，那就得想办法让大家把藏在家里的钱掏出来，不管通过舆论，还是形势逼人，让年轻人把“用父母的钱买房”这一行为合理化，都是对房地产发展有利的。
这样来看，当年指责啃老，和现在默认买房啃老，又有高度的连贯性。
因为如此，2015 年的时候，山东、吉林、江苏、湖南出台或者修改《老年人权益保障条例》时，都规定，“有独立生活能力的成年子女要求老年人经济资助的，老年人有权拒绝。成年子女或者其他亲属不得以无业或者其他理由索取老年人的财物。”——从法律层面赋予了父母拒绝被啃老的权力。
但同时，又把“老年人与子女或者其他亲属共同出资购买、建造的住房，按照出资比例或者约定，依法享有相应份额的所有权和使用权”写进了条例——把买房啃老排除在了啃老行为之外。
与社会现实发展保持了一致。
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