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Params: post, 584369, a:92:{i:0;a:4:{s:3:"tag";s:3:"img";s:6:"option";N;s:8:"original";a:2:{i:0;s:5:"[IMG]";i:1;s:6:"[/IMG]";}s:8:"children";a:1:{i:0;s:80:"https://pic2.zhimg.com/v2-0873cfbee8ebe3e7f9570e8aae7c4e6a_l.jpg?source=8673f162";}}i:1;s:107:" 深刻如此，二级心理咨询师，《非暴力沟通两性篇》《非暴力沟通情绪篇》译者 ";i:2;a:4:{s:3:"tag";s:3:"url";s:6:"option";s:57:"https://www.zhihu.com/question/30688455/answer/2171776075";s:8:"original";a:2:{i:0;s:65:"[URL='https://www.zhihu.com/question/30688455/answer/2171776075']";i:1;s:6:"[/URL]";}s:8:"children";a:1:{i:0;s:12:"阅读原文";}}i:3;s:62:"
当我们出现负面情绪的时候，最大的问题是：";i:4;a:4:{s:3:"tag";s:1:"b";s:6:"option";N;s:8:"original";a:2:{i:0;s:3:"[B]";i:1;s:4:"[/B]";}s:8:"children";a:1:{i:0;s:81:"不能及时的去发现自己的情绪问题，以及理解情绪产生的原由";}}i:5;s:5:"。
";i:6;a:4:{s:3:"tag";s:1:"b";s:6:"option";N;s:8:"original";a:2:{i:0;s:3:"[B]";i:1;s:4:"[/B]";}s:8:"children";a:1:{i:0;s:84:"因为情绪是人天生就有的自然反应，是对各种情境的一种反应。";}}i:7;s:2:"
";i:8;a:4:{s:3:"tag";s:3:"img";s:6:"option";N;s:8:"original";a:2:{i:0;s:5:"[IMG]";i:1;s:6:"[/IMG]";}s:8:"children";a:1:{i:0;s:83:"https://pic3.zhimg.com/v2-40219d52434eff384ed08aecb3ffb484_720w.jpg?source=8673f162";}}i:9;s:1:"
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[*]比如面对危险的时候，你会本能的愤怒，因为你需要自我保护；
[*]面对未知或者未来的不确定时，你会本能的焦虑，因为你需要调动自身的警觉；
[*]而面对失败或者是丧失情境的时候，你会本能的产生抑郁，因为你需要降低自己的兴奋神经，降低损耗。
";}}i:11;s:35:"
在面对各种应激情况时，";i:12;a:4:{s:3:"tag";s:1:"b";s:6:"option";N;s:8:"original";a:2:{i:0;s:3:"[B]";i:1;s:4:"[/B]";}s:8:"children";a:1:{i:0;s:78:"适度的愤怒、焦虑、抑郁，这些消极情绪都有积极的意义。";}}i:13;s:143:"它们可以启动身体各个器官的功能，还能提高大脑的反应速度或者适应速度。
但一旦达到了一定程度，就会";i:14;a:4:{s:3:"tag";s:1:"b";s:6:"option";N;s:8:"original";a:2:{i:0;s:3:"[B]";i:1;s:4:"[/B]";}s:8:"children";a:1:{i:0;s:69:"影响到我们的植物神经紊乱，变成病理性的情绪问题";}}i:15;s:5:"：
";i:16;a:4:{s:3:"tag";s:1:"b";s:6:"option";N;s:8:"original";a:2:{i:0;s:3:"[B]";i:1;s:4:"[/B]";}s:8:"children";a:1:{i:0;s:25:"1、会出现躯体反应";}}i:17;s:253:"
很多有情绪问题的人，会出现各种各样的躯体化症状。焦虑障碍的人胃会经常不适，易怒的人甲状腺会出问题，而抑郁情绪则会导致大脑功能下降。最常见的就是心慌、没精神、胡思乱想。
";i:18;a:4:{s:3:"tag";s:1:"b";s:6:"option";N;s:8:"original";a:2:{i:0;s:3:"[B]";i:1;s:4:"[/B]";}s:8:"children";a:1:{i:0;s:22:"2、社交功能退化";}}i:19;s:214:"
比如说最常见的社交恐惧、疑病症。或者没有办法顺利地和别人进行完整的交谈、亦或者在社交中没有非常易怒，或者感觉到心虚、强烈的不安全感（恐惧）。
";i:20;a:4:{s:3:"tag";s:1:"b";s:6:"option";N;s:8:"original";a:2:{i:0;s:3:"[B]";i:1;s:4:"[/B]";}s:8:"children";a:1:{i:0;s:22:"3、日常功能退化";}}i:21;s:241:"
最常见的就是失眠，做噩梦，早醒等等与休息相关的日常活动。接着是一系列与思维相关的功能开始退化，常见就是心烦气躁、静不下来，也没有办法集中注意力，思考复杂问题。
";i:22;a:4:{s:3:"tag";s:1:"b";s:6:"option";N;s:8:"original";a:2:{i:0;s:3:"[B]";i:1;s:4:"[/B]";}s:8:"children";a:1:{i:0;s:162:"这些消极情绪之所以慢慢失去情绪本身该有的积极作用，其根本原因是长期的“消极环境”，或者“消极认知”所导致的。";}}i:23;s:2:"
";i:24;a:4:{s:3:"tag";s:3:"img";s:6:"option";N;s:8:"original";a:2:{i:0;s:5:"[IMG]";i:1;s:6:"[/IMG]";}s:8:"children";a:1:{i:0;s:83:"https://pic3.zhimg.com/v2-13f966ac3cbf41b808249d16571a55c0_720w.jpg?source=8673f162";}}i:25;s:105:"
认知行为理论中指出，我们的心理进程和行为进程受到 S-R 模型的控制，即：
";i:26;a:4:{s:3:"tag";s:1:"b";s:6:"option";N;s:8:"original";a:2:{i:0;s:3:"[B]";i:1;s:4:"[/B]";}s:8:"children";a:1:{i:0;s:75:"S（Stimulus 刺激）– O（Organism 有机体）- R（Response 反应）";}}i:27;s:2:"
";i:28;a:4:{s:3:"tag";s:3:"img";s:6:"option";N;s:8:"original";a:2:{i:0;s:5:"[IMG]";i:1;s:6:"[/IMG]";}s:8:"children";a:1:{i:0;s:83:"https://pic2.zhimg.com/v2-4467de92d5aece8e959877880e72042b_720w.jpg?source=8673f162";}}i:29;s:100:"
外部环境就是刺激，我们自己是有机体，而最后的反应则是我们的情绪。
";i:30;a:4:{s:3:"tag";s:1:"b";s:6:"option";N;s:8:"original";a:2:{i:0;s:3:"[B]";i:1;s:4:"[/B]";}s:8:"children";a:1:{i:0;s:166:"其中作为“O”的有机体，其实就是我们的认知。它就像一个弹簧一样，不断地调节环境与反应的平衡，致力达到一个平衡点。";}}i:31;s:176:"
如果，外部环境一直都是消极的，比如说原生家庭给的压迫，工作中的各种人事压力，又或者是亲密关系中的各种不信任或者矛盾。";i:32;a:4:{s:3:"tag";s:1:"b";s:6:"option";N;s:8:"original";a:2:{i:0;s:3:"[B]";i:1;s:4:"[/B]";}s:8:"children";a:1:{i:0;s:87:"那么作为有机体的认知，也会渐渐地开始把外部环境“标签化”：";}}i:33;s:2:"
";i:34;a:4:{s:3:"tag";s:6:"indent";s:6:"option";N;s:8:"original";a:2:{i:0;s:8:"[INDENT]";i:1;s:9:"[/INDENT]";}s:8:"children";a:5:{i:0;a:4:{s:3:"tag";s:1:"i";s:6:"option";N;s:8:"original";a:2:{i:0;s:3:"[I]";i:1;s:4:"[/I]";}s:8:"children";a:1:{i:0;s:48:"“父母就是从来都不考虑我的意见”";}}i:1;s:1:"
";i:2;a:4:{s:3:"tag";s:1:"i";s:6:"option";N;s:8:"original";a:2:{i:0;s:3:"[I]";i:1;s:4:"[/I]";}s:8:"children";a:1:{i:0;s:39:"“这个上司就是看我不顺眼”";}}i:3;s:1:"
";i:4;a:4:{s:3:"tag";s:1:"i";s:6:"option";N;s:8:"original";a:2:{i:0;s:3:"[I]";i:1;s:4:"[/I]";}s:8:"children";a:1:{i:0;s:55:"“TA 就是不爱我，这些都是 TA 演出来的”";}}}}i:35;s:2:"
";i:36;a:4:{s:3:"tag";s:1:"b";s:6:"option";N;s:8:"original";a:2:{i:0;s:3:"[B]";i:1;s:4:"[/B]";}s:8:"children";a:1:{i:0;s:171:"一旦形成了固有的标签化，也就代表着我们的认知环节已经失去了作为“调节弹簧”的作用。这根弹簧已经被压力变成了范性形变";}}i:37;s:38:"——弹簧再也弹不起来了。
";i:38;a:4:{s:3:"tag";s:3:"img";s:6:"option";N;s:8:"original";a:2:{i:0;s:5:"[IMG]";i:1;s:6:"[/IMG]";}s:8:"children";a:1:{i:0;s:83:"https://pic3.zhimg.com/v2-7eb0a2fa4005103db583a225f0b133d0_720w.jpg?source=8673f162";}}i:39;s:188:"
至此，无论我们的外部环境是否有变化，父母是否已经调整了与你的相处模式、工作是否已经变得轻松，伴侣是否已经打算与你和谐相处——";i:40;a:4:{s:3:"tag";s:1:"b";s:6:"option";N;s:8:"original";a:2:{i:0;s:3:"[B]";i:1;s:4:"[/B]";}s:8:"children";a:1:{i:0;s:33:"你的认知永远都是消极的";}}i:41;s:5:"。
";i:42;a:4:{s:3:"tag";s:1:"b";s:6:"option";N;s:8:"original";a:2:{i:0;s:3:"[B]";i:1;s:4:"[/B]";}s:8:"children";a:1:{i:0;s:71:"理所当然的，你的情绪（Response）也永远都是消极的。";}}i:43;s:41:"
所以，很多情绪有问题的人，";i:44;a:4:{s:3:"tag";s:1:"b";s:6:"option";N;s:8:"original";a:2:{i:0;s:3:"[B]";i:1;s:4:"[/B]";}s:8:"children";a:1:{i:0;s:114:"其实并不知道自己的“认知弹簧”已经失去功能了，并不真正理解自己消极情绪的源头";}}i:45;s:91:"。
我有一名来访者，他一直有持续性的焦虑，也叫作弥散性焦虑。
";i:46;a:4:{s:3:"tag";s:1:"i";s:6:"option";N;s:8:"original";a:2:{i:0;s:3:"[I]";i:1;s:4:"[/I]";}s:8:"children";a:1:{i:0;s:264:"他一直就害怕人群，害怕聚会。因为从小他就是内向的人，他自己觉得这种表现也很正常，就当做是“比一般人更加不好意思”。但他一直持续三年，几乎没有任何的异性交流，工作上也是能避则避。";}}i:47;s:2:"
";i:48;a:4:{s:3:"tag";s:1:"i";s:6:"option";N;s:8:"original";a:2:{i:0;s:3:"[I]";i:1;s:4:"[/I]";}s:8:"children";a:1:{i:0;s:363:"最后到了什么地步呢：连和上司、同时交流工作的时候，他也特别紧张，特别焦虑。一开始他自我解释为，因为他从小就很怕长辈，夫亲也很严厉。不觉得是情绪出现了问题，直到他开始担心第二天的工作，而焦虑的整夜整夜的睡不着，开始胸闷气短，才肯去找心理咨询师。";}}i:49;s:2:"
";i:50;a:4:{s:3:"tag";s:1:"b";s:6:"option";N;s:8:"original";a:2:{i:0;s:3:"[B]";i:1;s:4:"[/B]";}s:8:"children";a:1:{i:0;s:216:"其实他的情绪问题从那三年持续的不社交开始，就已经一步步的开始“泛化”（范性形变）了，这是社交功能的退化，然后一步步到躯体反应以及日常功能的受损。";}}i:51;s:379:"
还有一些人的情绪问题具体体现在亲密关系中，特别容易生气，一旦生气就没有办法自控。经常做出一些让自己后悔的冲动行为，女性多为歇斯底里，而男性多为暴力（也包括冷暴力）。总体来说，就是破坏亲密关系，破坏社交环境的行为，然后再恶性循环。
所以，认知心理学常说，";i:52;a:4:{s:3:"tag";s:1:"b";s:6:"option";N;s:8:"original";a:2:{i:0;s:3:"[B]";i:1;s:4:"[/B]";}s:8:"children";a:1:{i:0;s:135:"让我们产生消极情绪以及因此导致的行为反应，不是源于事件本身，而是我们对待事件的看法和认知。";}}i:53;s:2:"
";i:54;a:4:{s:3:"tag";s:1:"b";s:6:"option";N;s:8:"original";a:2:{i:0;s:3:"[B]";i:1;s:4:"[/B]";}s:8:"children";a:1:{i:0;s:24:"一、评估焦虑情绪";}}i:55;s:488:"
我们要先知道自己的情绪问题，是环境的原因多一点，还是我们认知的原因多一点。
我们有一个误区：好像外向的人就更容易生气，内向的人就更容易抑郁。
但我们发现，那些在亲密关系中突然爆发，突然一发不可收拾的人，往往是那些平时内向的人；而那些抑郁、焦虑的人，在日常生活中也常常带着乐天派的假面具。
你是否易怒，是否易焦虑，最终要看你的“";i:56;a:4:{s:3:"tag";s:1:"b";s:6:"option";N;s:8:"original";a:2:{i:0;s:3:"[B]";i:1;s:4:"[/B]";}s:8:"children";a:1:{i:0;s:72:"神经质水平高低”以及你的“认知是否具有适应性”。";}}i:57;s:189:"
所以我们要通过人格测试来确定，是不是自己的感受性过强、自己特别敏感，所以导致我们的情绪波动起伏。
这里作为心理咨询师我推荐：
";i:58;a:4:{s:3:"tag";s:4:"list";s:6:"option";N;s:8:"original";a:2:{i:0;s:6:"[LIST]";i:1;s:7:"[/LIST]";}s:8:"children";a:5:{i:0;s:4:"
[*]";i:1;a:4:{s:3:"tag";s:1:"b";s:6:"option";N;s:8:"original";a:2:{i:0;s:3:"[B]";i:1;s:4:"[/B]";}s:8:"children";a:1:{i:0;s:54:"一个人格的测试，埃森克人格问卷（EPQ）";}}i:2;s:100:"：四分法的维度设置，其中神经质维度，可以看出你是否容易情绪波动。
[*]";i:3;a:4:{s:3:"tag";s:1:"b";s:6:"option";N;s:8:"original";a:2:{i:0;s:3:"[B]";i:1;s:4:"[/B]";}s:8:"children";a:1:{i:0;s:33:"一个焦虑水平自测（SAS）";}}i:4;s:49:"：判断自己目前的焦虑程度和情况。
";}}i:59;s:2:"
";i:60;a:4:{s:3:"tag";s:1:"b";s:6:"option";N;s:8:"original";a:2:{i:0;s:3:"[B]";i:1;s:4:"[/B]";}s:8:"children";a:1:{i:0;s:24:"二、拥抱消极情绪";}}i:61;s:217:"
首先，我们的情绪不会是无缘无故的。我们说过了情绪是一种反应（Response），真正的问题要么在我们的认知（Organism）上，要么在我们所处的环境（Stimulus）上。
";i:62;a:4:{s:3:"tag";s:1:"b";s:6:"option";N;s:8:"original";a:2:{i:0;s:3:"[B]";i:1;s:4:"[/B]";}s:8:"children";a:1:{i:0;s:7:"l逃避";}}i:63;a:4:{s:3:"tag";s:1:"i";s:6:"option";N;s:8:"original";a:2:{i:0;s:3:"[I]";i:1;s:4:"[/I]";}s:8:"children";a:1:{i:0;s:39:"：听歌、睡觉、什么都不做；";}}i:64;s:2:"
";i:65;a:4:{s:3:"tag";s:1:"b";s:6:"option";N;s:8:"original";a:2:{i:0;s:3:"[B]";i:1;s:4:"[/B]";}s:8:"children";a:1:{i:0;s:7:"l代替";}}i:66;a:4:{s:3:"tag";s:1:"i";s:6:"option";N;s:8:"original";a:2:{i:0;s:3:"[I]";i:1;s:4:"[/I]";}s:8:"children";a:1:{i:0;s:33:"：抽烟、酗酒、玩游戏；";}}i:67;s:2:"
";i:68;a:4:{s:3:"tag";s:1:"b";s:6:"option";N;s:8:"original";a:2:{i:0;s:3:"[B]";i:1;s:4:"[/B]";}s:8:"children";a:1:{i:0;s:7:"l发泄";}}i:69;a:4:{s:3:"tag";s:1:"i";s:6:"option";N;s:8:"original";a:2:{i:0;s:3:"[I]";i:1;s:4:"[/I]";}s:8:"children";a:1:{i:0;s:36:"：运动、聚会、暴饮暴食；";}}i:70;s:255:"
记住，情绪只是你的一种自我防御之后的结果，所以以上的所有行为都没有办法改变你的认知，或者你所处的环境，所以并不能真正的解决掉负面情绪。
那么，你可以做一些什么来改变呢：
";i:71;a:4:{s:3:"tag";s:1:"b";s:6:"option";N;s:8:"original";a:2:{i:0;s:3:"[B]";i:1;s:4:"[/B]";}s:8:"children";a:1:{i:0;s:16:"1、情绪日记";}}i:72;s:3:"：";i:73;a:4:{s:3:"tag";s:1:"b";s:6:"option";N;s:8:"original";a:2:{i:0;s:3:"[B]";i:1;s:4:"[/B]";}s:8:"children";a:1:{i:0;s:48:"记录自己的情绪、引起情绪的事件。";}}i:74;s:140:"这是用来回看，反思、反省自己思维模式的道具。长期记录，定期回看，可以有效减少我们的消极认知。
";i:75;a:4:{s:3:"tag";s:1:"b";s:6:"option";N;s:8:"original";a:2:{i:0;s:3:"[B]";i:1;s:4:"[/B]";}s:8:"children";a:1:{i:0;s:77:"2、基于情绪日记，利用认知心理学的“ABC 合理情绪疗法”";}}i:76;s:83:"，找到并纠正不良认知。这部分可以参考以下我的视频讲解：
";i:77;a:4:{s:3:"tag";s:1:"b";s:6:"option";N;s:8:"original";a:2:{i:0;s:3:"[B]";i:1;s:4:"[/B]";}s:8:"children";a:1:{i:0;s:16:"3、合理倾诉";}}i:78;s:9:"：找到";i:79;a:4:{s:3:"tag";s:1:"b";s:6:"option";N;s:8:"original";a:2:{i:0;s:3:"[B]";i:1;s:4:"[/B]";}s:8:"children";a:1:{i:0;s:69:"你信任的，最重要是愿意听你讲，也能为你保密的人";}}i:80;s:36:"。同时你要倾诉的内容是：";i:81;a:4:{s:3:"tag";s:1:"b";s:6:"option";N;s:8:"original";a:2:{i:0;s:3:"[B]";i:1;s:4:"[/B]";}s:8:"children";a:1:{i:0;s:60:"那些让你痛苦、羞耻甚至感受到侮辱的事情。";}}i:82;s:71:"你必须通过交互的方式，来面对这些被压抑的情绪。
";i:83;a:4:{s:3:"tag";s:1:"b";s:6:"option";N;s:8:"original";a:2:{i:0;s:3:"[B]";i:1;s:4:"[/B]";}s:8:"children";a:1:{i:0;s:16:"4、隔离环境";}}i:84;s:93:"：如果你有一段特别折磨的亲密关系，或者一个压力很大的原生家庭。";i:85;a:4:{s:3:"tag";s:1:"b";s:6:"option";N;s:8:"original";a:2:{i:0;s:3:"[B]";i:1;s:4:"[/B]";}s:8:"children";a:1:{i:0;s:144:"那么在你现在没有能力去处理这些问题的时候，可以一定程度上暂时远离这些问题，比如选择自己住和生活。";}}i:86;s:59:"
总而言之，你需要从自我认知与环境入手。";i:87;a:4:{s:3:"tag";s:1:"b";s:6:"option";N;s:8:"original";a:2:{i:0;s:3:"[B]";i:1;s:4:"[/B]";}s:8:"children";a:1:{i:0;s:150:"情绪的问题，往往只是你心理问题的一个外显症状，你越克制情绪，越逃避情绪，你就越受困于环境与自我认知。";}}i:88;s:89:"
逃避、克制、压抑消极情绪，永远只能让这些消极情绪更加消极。";i:89;a:4:{s:3:"tag";s:1:"b";s:6:"option";N;s:8:"original";a:2:{i:0;s:3:"[B]";i:1;s:4:"[/B]";}s:8:"children";a:1:{i:0;s:129:"所以，无论你怎么处理情绪，最终你与它和解的唯一途径都只有一个——那就是接受它，拥抱它。";}}i:90;s:2:"
";i:91;a:4:{s:3:"tag";s:3:"url";s:6:"option";s:39:"https://www.zhihu.com/question/30688455";s:8:"original";a:2:{i:0;s:47:"[URL='https://www.zhihu.com/question/30688455']";i:1;s:6:"[/URL]";}s:8:"children";a:1:{i:0;s:12:"阅读原文";}}}, 1621686945, 1716556847
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